508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
