Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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