ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
