I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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