Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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