you would pick up someone in the library
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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