what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
