dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
