I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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