Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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