Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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