hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
