i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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