I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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