i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
