I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
