Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
