he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
