He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
