I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
