i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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