worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
