I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
