Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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