It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
