Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
