thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
