If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
