If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
