R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
