whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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