i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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