We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
