i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
