And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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