I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
