i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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