yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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