Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
