I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
