Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
