hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
accomplished twins. life is a go
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
