found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
