Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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