Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
