yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
