But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
