eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
