...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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