Me too!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
