i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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