Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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